The iPhone detail you didn't notice

So for my Canadian friends back home, who failed to live through the iPhone launch, there is an interesting detail about the phone that is not apparent at all from the webcasts or Steve's presentations. Personally I would never have thought that such an important aspect of the device would go un-noticed for so long. It seems like such a fundamental part of the design that it's hard to believe that they would gloss over it like that. And it's impossible to ignore once you actually pick up and use an iPhone. And that detail is:

The iPhone is made almost entirely out of chocolate.

Yes, the back is a delicious Swiss light metallic chocolate with an extra-dark milk chocolate plate at the bottom for the antenna. The screen has a honey glaze that gives it a shiny, reflective look. And the whole thing is powered by pure sugar. As fun as it was to play with, and as great a phone and iPod and internet device as it was, it was clear that the REAL killer feature of the iPhone was its taste. And behind it all is super-secret "melts in the mouth, not in the hand" technology licenced from Mars, Incorporated, makers of M&Ms, and the silent third partner in the Apple-AT&T-Mars triumvirate.

It was hard to find any iPhones on display in the Apple store that didn't have bite marks or that weren't half-eaten. (Eating the whole thing would set off the alarm.) Now I see why Apple was limiting patrons to two delicious iPhones apiece. Not for the sake of availability but for the sake of their customers' waistlines. Forget Verizon -- this thing is going to put Godiva out of business.

This does bring up the unbelievable fact that the iPhone will continue to operate without impairment even if 70% of it is eaten. It automatically scales the display to account for any parts bitten off by the user. Now THAT's a remarkable piece of engineering.

So go ahead my Canadian friends, make a trip south of the border and lick an iPhone. You won't believe what's in the creamery center.

Incidentally, Microsoft has stated that the next-generation Zune will be made out of dried onion meal. Ballmer asserts that by offering customers a grim, flavorless alternative to Apple's product, they will appeal to consumers who want to make "a different choice."